hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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