If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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