i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
