I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
