she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently the secret to your success is patron
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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