Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
