is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
