Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
