Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
