Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
