I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
