hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
