They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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