I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
