i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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