I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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