Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The air was thick with penises
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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