i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
