I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
how does that bad decision feel?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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