She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I FOUND THE LEGS
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
