Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Pooping to opera.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
