Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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