She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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