Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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