Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
