Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Alive.
So much puke
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
