I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
