How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
