i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
