feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Drunk is not a location!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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