Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
