Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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