I'm going to jail i love you
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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