Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
