i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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