Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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