Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
