Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He did a backflip because drugs
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
