but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
