i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
