We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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