I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
