the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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