you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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