thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
