Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
