so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
