I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
