Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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