miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
