The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
