I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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