Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
